February 2012
29 posts
it’s not at all that i’m trying to be different. i just really feel like i can’t relate to anyone else anymore.
33 hours of work a week and 4 classes + a stupid internship course
i have no life outside of this, it seems.
saaaave me, i’m crying for help!
smoking weed and listening to vinyl all night.
this city illuminates even the blackest skies. my room is never a complete darkness.
woke up feeling sick with a cold, my nose won’t stop running. this turbo shot of expresso isn’t doing shit. all i want to do is sleep, but i can’t with all that’s on my mind.. so i lay here, useless. i’m extremely discouraged. in a couple hours, i will make use of my time. hopefully.
iced coffee & fasting.
first day off from work i’ve had in awhile. my body is so used of being awake early in the morning, so i’m finding it impossible to sleep in. all i really want right now is to sleep some time away.
tonight was really fun, so thanks everyone who was a part of that! i love you.
i wish i didn’t end the night by finding your old blog, reaffirming every lie you told me. i mean, i’m over you, but why did you ever think you could do that? i was trying to be the best person i could be… to you and to everyone else.
i’m sad that motherfuckers like you exist.
January 2012
31 posts
if i loved you, well that's my fault
thevirtualhermit:
How I hate my shoulders
Not the way they look
Freckled and narrow
Nor the burdens they carry
Without protest
Just the way they slope
Lacking decisive angles
How they like to slide
Sleeves and bags
Down to my elbows
When you never follow
Their descent with
Your fingertips.
community service at the retirement home is depressing. the dim lighting and the ever tired residents in their beds, looking anything but content and comfortable. endless halls, i stare at the floor.
i will never forget looking into the rooms, and noticing a fragile and extremely thin old woman curled up into a ball, naked. she looked so sick and hopeless.
but it’s a beautiful day outside!...
just bought ten rolls of B+W film, motivation to go to the dark room, bid on some cool cameras, just developed a roll of 35mm colour film that came out pretty okay, going home this weekend AND GETTING SHIT DONE.
i wish the other night wasn’t such a blur. i vaguely remember your face, you driving me through the city, laying in my bed and admiring all the pictures on my wall. i wish i remembered conversations; details. i feel like such a fool!
Oh, what a strange and miraculous thing to find you merely recognize what is driving me crazy
The Organ
listen to them if you’re looking for something soothing!
i’ve come to plenty of realizations, and everything is quite clear! i was there to fill the void, do you want to know how that fucking feels? i can hardly find comfort in anyone anymore, in fear of what may happen. my mind is fucked because i expect things to happen before they actually do, if they do. my mind! i’m so trapped inside of these boundaries of insanity.
